Well, I'm sorry this post is a little bit long, but something quite incredible has just happened. Today I've been thinking a lot about going on a mission, especially with so many of my friends getting their calls yesterday. I've been feeling like my testimony isn't as strong as I would like it to be and I have been really doubting myself and whether or not I should serve, whether I was worthy enough, and if I could truly recognize a spiritual prompting when I received one. Then besides that, I wasn't sure when I would serve because if I were to go right after this winter semester, I would need to get my papers in as soon as possible, but I currently have a grant to help pay for school, which wouldn't be here when I got back.
I started out with a prayer, asking my Heavenly Father to help my testimony to grow, calm me, and to help me know if a mission really was the right thing for me. I decided to turn to my scriptures and my patriarchal blessing. In my blessing, it mentions that I'm from the tribe of Ephraim, and as such, part of my responsibilities are to help Heavenly Father's children through missionary and temple work. As I stared at the word "missionary," I remembered my dad showing me a scripture when I was talking to him about a mission. Doctrine and Covenants 4:3 says "Therefore, if ye have desires to serve God ye are called to the work." I knew that I had a desire, but I was still unsure of myself. I noticed on the word "called" that there was a footnote. I looked at the list of scriptures by that little letter for a minute, but one stood out to me. Doctrine and Covenants 11:4.
I turned to section 11 and read "Yea, whosoever will thrust in his sickle and reap, the same is called of God." This sounded like it was about missionary work, just like section 4, so I felt like I should start from the beginning and see what the section had to say.
It was like it was written directly to me. Starting in verse 6, "Now, as you have asked, behold, I say unto you, keep my commandments, and seek to bring forth and establish the cause of Zion." Then verses 8-9," Verily, verily, I say unto you, even as you desire of me so it shall be done unto you; and, if you desire, you shall be the means of doing much good in this generation. Say nothing but repentance unto this generation. Keep my commandments, and assist to bring forth my work, according to my commandments, and you shall be blessed." When I came to verses 15-16, it said, "Behold, I command you that you need not suppose that you are called to preach until you are called. Wait a little longer, until you shall have my word, my rock, my church, and my gospel, that you may know of a surety my doctrine." Finally, in verse 26, " Therefore, treasure up in your heart until the time which is in my wisdom that you shall go forth."
Everything that was on my mind was answered in one little section of 30 verses! I have never had a huge, unbelievably spiritual experience before, but this was like my own personal miracle. I'm so thankful that the Lord has heard my prayers! I know that if you are seeking an answer from the Lord, it will come in time. Faith is a principle of action. You must do something! Hopefully this will be helpful to someone out there who might be struggling or questioning. Just keep the commandments and keep on trying to do what's right. Try a little harder to be a little better :)